Friday the 13th...

that line hanging in this blog is so annoying. i'm beginning to think i'm OCD or something. i am letting it go... but for those who reside in civilization do go see the new jason. it's pretty good, considering the state of horror now.

in honor of my frustrations i give you some top 10 kills. i personally like the jason takes manhattan b-ball head shot. but the new one is good. it involves lots of green, and a few captivity scenes, plus all the mother love you need.

L’animal que donc je suis

Слава богу что я живу в Приднестровье / в Молдове

Thank god I am not residing in the United States. We are an uncivilized country where beasts rule. Large pharmaceutical companies control the world, and the smallest of changes - a new shade of hair dye and a haircut - can be deadly...

Apparently, after her 200 lb. chimpanzee was acting up, the owner thought a bit of Xanax might be good to calm him down. I guess she doesn't know that Xanax is a recreational drug for rich kids in American. She's from Connecticut, so i guess she wouldn't know that. Anyways, her beloved chimp Travis didn't respond to the Xanax not to his Elmo doll, and that was deadly. I kind of feel bad for the lady, not the one who owned the chimp, but the one who got mauled. I did almost laugh out loud when I read of the 70 year old rich lady plunging a butcher's knife into her beloved Travis (who continued mauling unaffected by this...)

American tabloid style: 911 tape captures chimpanzee owner's horror as 200-pound ape mauls friend

Russian tabloid style: Шимпанзе погиб от рук полиции

Bad hair days can be deadly, as can exotic pets. Better to adopt a stray dog or cat. Or just read about animality. Or watch zoo porn.

Or better yet, be post-structuralist and read Derrida's The Animal that Therefor I am

Only then can one realize the animal as supplement, not as other, for the "gaze called animal offers to my sight the abyssal limit of the human." Too bad we can't ask Travis about that...

Paris, the true City of Gold

Gold has the unique property of being both a symbol and an objective reality of value. Gold is the ur-substance, something that becomes in a sense the raw material of our collective fantasies. Countless fairytales, legends, folktales, empires, criminal enterprises, religiouns, cults, and miscellaneous sects were in a very real sense created by the fascination with and accumulation of gold. It is odd that, in this time of crisis, the role of gold in the mind of the swindler has changed. It is not money, not a quick slight of hand currency exchange that allows people to part with money, but an initial fascination with gold, the gold of somebody else that we happen to 'find' ... but I digress...

Underneath the streets of Paris there is an astounding amount of gold, concentrated in particularly vast amounts near the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and other sights popular among 'tourists.' But this gold is not accessible to all - you must find it through the ancient wisdom of the gypsies, who hold the key to bringing it to the surface. Gold, that magical substance, raw value, the symbol of lust, power, wealth. Here is how to mine gold while on your trip to Paris.

Stand on any interesting site - this bridge between Paladin des Jardines and Invalides will do fine. Next, you must find a gypsy woman. Stand in one place, and wait for her to bring you a treasure. Literally the rings of gold will emerge from the ground, but only those with magic hands will be able to grasp it. Mere mortals, those from abroad, cannot feel its subliminal pull and harness it. Usually, these geldmachers will ask for some euros for their time/labor - often they are very hungry after such a gold harnessing operation. Please help them out, as you have profited immensely from their sacred knowledge.

OK, so here's how the scam goes. Usually, somebody will bend over and pretend to pick up a gold ring or something of value. They will then usually approach you, asking if you dropped something. When people drop something, it very often is something of value: currency, a wallet, keys, etc. In this case, it will almost always be a gold ring (definitely NOT gold). If you counter that this is their ring, or somebody else's, they will point to the empty area around the spot in question and place the ring in your hands. If they do this, you can just walk away, but they will demand some money, for food, for bringing you good luck. This literally happened to me 4 or 5 times in a single day. It is actually fun if you know what to expect, as it allows for immense opportunities to screw with the scammers.